"bullsh*t, ideas, wisdom and the ramblings of moi."
Dear man on Holloway Road,
I'm writing to talk to you about your grey Emporio Armani sweatsuit ensemble that you were sporting this afternoon.
Particularly, I'd like to focus on those constricting sweatpants. Should I refer to them as sweat-trousers ... especially since that's how you were wearing them. English can be so confusing, eh?
Anyway, these trousers, which provided me a detailed understanding of the heat you were packing are meant only for a very few select moments in both your and my day. So, I've taken the time to create a list of acceptable situations; so we can avoid tragedies like one that occurred - luckily sausages and mash weren't on my lunch order.
Here's the breakdown:
(This space is intentionally left blank)
So there you have it.
The options may seem limiting at first, but moving forward I think you'll find it will help you structure a decision towards questions like "should I wear my grey sweatsuit today?”. I'm sure most people, particularly myself, will appreciate your new sense of fashion.
A couple of side notes before I sign off though.
One. Everyone knows that Emporio Armani doesn't make sweatpants and if they did the branding might be a little classier. Two. Don't be ashamed of 'stuffing'. It might look like a dogs breakfast, but it'll be better then the heat that was on show today.