Scrapbook

"bullsh*t, images and the ramblings of moi."

Posts tagged Festivus
Festivus!

Denim Vests!

The Human Fund said my cheque for the year has been received - what can I say ... I was feeling extra generous after a couple strong nights on the pole. 2018, like every year, has been off the chain. But, in proper Festivus tradition, I still have a couple of grievances to air.

Here they are in no particular order:

  • Heating. Why do department stores, offices and just about any other place in London need to have the heat that high? Will a bit of cold or the fresh air kill you? Set the temperature to 18 Celsius and if you can’t hack it put a jumper on. Nuff said.

  • As a purveyor of media and the owner of a modern handheld device I respect the desire to watch videos, Skype your cousin in Bhutan, fight with your ex on FaceTime, listen to a Mexican metal goth band's latest single ... but for everyone’s sake make sure you have headphones on NO MATTER WHERE YOU ARE (this was literally happening when I typed this). 

  • Roundabouts in Australia. If it has two lanes, the outer lane has to exit on either the first or second exit … it’s a given. If there isn’t a first exit directly on your left, then you can proceed straight ahead safely. It’s the rules ... so there’s no need for road rage. A bi-partisan individual witness this and confirmed my grievance on two occasions.

  • People. Well that pretty much covers anything I missed. 

Anyway, the bagel shelves might empty, but my devotion to Festivus is stronger than ever … and like most beliefs, I managed to convince some peeps to help me create the above masterpiece. 

Big ups to Matthew Meadows for the Illustrations and Grace Cross for the ‘I have a serious cold why are you bothering me’ Voicing. Love yous dearly, and I will be sure to go easy on the feats of strengths.

I’ve probably said more than I should so ... Happy Festivus and all that other hoo-ha (if that's your thing) and as always, catch each of you on the flip side.

Jonas

P.S. Find my beliefs odd? Clearly, you're new to the ever-growing list. Visit 2015 or 2016 or 2017 to see how much fun you’ve missed out on.