“It’s my birthday ... the least you could do is give me the present of lies.”
“Three words summarise the English Seaside. Cigarettes, Strollers and Carling.”
“When I’m fishing for a compliment I’m not wanting a minnow, I’m wanting a fucking salmon.”
“The invention of the mirror WAS our greatest downfall.”
“Why is that the people with no taste tell the people with taste what to do?”
“It’s not called business, it’s called show business.”
“I find more pennies on the ground in London then my bank account pays me interest.”
“Part of being successful is being uncomfortable.”